Seriously, if you ask an awkward question, no matter how noble your intentions or how much you've steeled yourself for that brutally honest answer you're counting on, you're still going to get an awkward answer. Especially if the ask-ee doesn't do brutally honest. You're just going to get the run-around. And around. And around. And the roomates of the ask-ee (and probably the ask-er, too) are just gonna get annoyed watching the drama from the sidelines. (Because you're clueless if you think we don't talk about it. We're girls. We talk. Mostly we try to help, or commiserate, or happy-dance together, but we definitely spill.)
If you really want brutally honest answers, you're going to have to ask a brutally honest person, and not that friends-with-everybody sweetheart who feels guilty for being in the same room with someone who's upset, much less for making someone upset. It's not gonna work. Stop trying. Seriously.
What is an "awkward question"? Well, if you have to ask that, I'm currently offering a correspondence course in Tact 101. (Which, as you can tell from this blog post, would be the blind leading the blind. But at least I occasionally have a clue.)
And while we're on the topic of awkward, everybody loves an awkward situation. Right? Yeah, right. So here's a clue: if you think a situation has gotten awkward, you're probably right. In fact, you're dead-on by definition. If any member of a group, large or small, is feeling awkward or uncomfortable, then obviously something is awkward. Can I be any more redundant? (Probably, but we won't go there.)
So if you find yourself in such a situation, fix it. Change whatever it is that's making life awkward for you and/or the group. If it's your very presence, the solution is simple enough. (Harsh, I know. ;) ) But really, who of us hasn't been a third wheel at some point? I know I have . . . and it's even less fun for the third than it is for the couple, so you're doing yourself a favor more than anyone by just finding something else to do for a while. Don't worry about it, mushiness comes and goes, and the best friend will still be there later, with or without the bf/gf, when they're done canoodling. :P (On the other hand, if they're never done canoodling, then you are no longer the one to blame for the awkwardness. So long as you're doing your part and giving them their alone time, they can do theirs and be regular people in public. Am I right? Of course I right. *channels Fiddler's Yenta*)
Of course, the main thing to remember is that everyone is horribly, irretrievably awkward some of the time. Especially between ages 13 and 30. The thing to do is to recover from it, and avoid making the same mistakes again. DON'T intentionally make the same mistakes again - that's just dumb. And don't listen to me if you don't want to. I'm just a crazy person, anyway, who feels better after that nice, lengthy rant. Congratz for reading it all the way through, ya crazies.
I'ma talk to you later.
Buh-bye.
If you really want brutally honest answers, you're going to have to ask a brutally honest person, and not that friends-with-everybody sweetheart who feels guilty for being in the same room with someone who's upset, much less for making someone upset. It's not gonna work. Stop trying. Seriously.
What is an "awkward question"? Well, if you have to ask that, I'm currently offering a correspondence course in Tact 101. (Which, as you can tell from this blog post, would be the blind leading the blind. But at least I occasionally have a clue.)
And while we're on the topic of awkward, everybody loves an awkward situation. Right? Yeah, right. So here's a clue: if you think a situation has gotten awkward, you're probably right. In fact, you're dead-on by definition. If any member of a group, large or small, is feeling awkward or uncomfortable, then obviously something is awkward. Can I be any more redundant? (Probably, but we won't go there.)
So if you find yourself in such a situation, fix it. Change whatever it is that's making life awkward for you and/or the group. If it's your very presence, the solution is simple enough. (Harsh, I know. ;) ) But really, who of us hasn't been a third wheel at some point? I know I have . . . and it's even less fun for the third than it is for the couple, so you're doing yourself a favor more than anyone by just finding something else to do for a while. Don't worry about it, mushiness comes and goes, and the best friend will still be there later, with or without the bf/gf, when they're done canoodling. :P (On the other hand, if they're never done canoodling, then you are no longer the one to blame for the awkwardness. So long as you're doing your part and giving them their alone time, they can do theirs and be regular people in public. Am I right? Of course I right. *channels Fiddler's Yenta*)
Of course, the main thing to remember is that everyone is horribly, irretrievably awkward some of the time. Especially between ages 13 and 30. The thing to do is to recover from it, and avoid making the same mistakes again. DON'T intentionally make the same mistakes again - that's just dumb. And don't listen to me if you don't want to. I'm just a crazy person, anyway, who feels better after that nice, lengthy rant. Congratz for reading it all the way through, ya crazies.
I'ma talk to you later.
Buh-bye.
I love how well you express yourself. :D
ReplyDeleteYou know, responses to this post have been hard to come by. I keep thinking about it, and yet, I find myself speechless for the most part. :D
ReplyDeleteI would like to have "What is an awkward question?" expounded on a bit more. As someone who has probably asked more than his fair share of awkward questions, it seems like something I should know, but I wasn't able to find it in there. Seems like you got a bit distracted about there. ;-)
(Oh, and I don't know if I'm typical in this regard or not, but I definitely know that anything I say may and probably will be discussed in a girl's apartment. In fact sometimes, I count on it. ;D )
Well, as was pointed out to me by a roommate after *she'd* read my blog, what does or does not make an awkward question does, in fact, depend on the situation, and so might not be as obvious as I made it sound like it should be. But hey, in rants you can making sweeping, unrealistic judgments if you want to, right? ;)In fact, now that you've gone and called me out on it, I think I'm going to find it hard to express a general sort of description . . . basically, any question that makes the ask-er and/or the ask-ee feel uncomfortable. Yeah, that's still pretty vague.
ReplyDeleteI've gotta say, though, the "what do you think I should improve about myself?" Q. is very rarely non-awkward, probably because even if we *do* have some kind of opinion on the subject, they're not always accurate and we don't really feel qualified to be handing out actual judgements or solid advice on another person's qualitites . . . Even to each other, my roommates and I only talk about each others' "faults" in the most general, round-about, even facetious ways. And rarely, even then. Like that one time we were playing "truth or dare Jenga" and someone asked that sort of question, and we all giggled nervously and faked it with a "I would dye her hair red!" cop-out answer. Because it's terribly presumptuous and awkward to assume that any one of us knows better than another in something like that.
Some other questions that come to mind are less awkward in and of themselves--but they become awkward when forwarded by a comment like: "Okay, I'm going to ask you a big, personal (read: awkward) question right now . . ." Lots of seemingly innocent questions can also become awkward just based on the ask-ee's reaction. Sometimes they just have an overly awkward response. And yeah, I'm still being kind of vague, but I guess it really is a case-by-case sort of thing. And even though certain "cases" are obvious to certain readers, it doesn't mean I have to go into detail for all to read on my non-private (though admittedly not overly-trafficked) blog. ;)
Basically, there are certain grains of truth in my rant, but much of it can also be tossed off as nonsense. So take in what you will. :) Also, I'm available for chatting online when I'm at work . . . and I'm much less prone to feelings of conflict and avoidance measures than certain other people who shall remain nameless . . . ;) Though I'm also less observant, and only moderately informed, so my opinions are always best taken with a grain of salt. I'm just willing to actually *share* them. Awkwardly, sometimes. :D
Wow. That may be the longest reply to a blog post that I have ever seen!
ReplyDelete