A Revelation

So, I think the main reason I keep falling off the wagon where it comes to journal writing is that, in my opinion, there's rarely anything all that interesting to report from my day. And then of course, by the time something important does happen, I'm too out of the habit to write it down. Oops and oh well. Try again next time.

And then there's the "write down three ways God has shown His hand in your life today" approach. That's probably a good plan, too . . . and it's also something I'm bad at keeping up with. I mean, every day is still just the same. I like my life, I just don't know what to write about.

Well. I think today I've discovered my own personal reason for keeping a journal, and it's one I never would have expected. But it really feels right.

I've known for a good while now that I'm a "discovery writer." My best fiction writing comes when I have a vague notion, and I just let my fingers run with it across the keyboard for a while (or paper with pen), and I almost don't know what I'm writing until after I've read it. Which is fun, for me. It leads to a lot of misdirection and side-tracked stories . . . but that's a problem for another day.

I do the same thing when I'm writing a particularly heartfelt letter, on the occasions that I actually write in my journal. Heck, it's how I've written many a term paper, too. Write in crazy zig-zags and circles of thought until I know what I'm saying, then edit and rewrite it into coherence.

Today during Sacrament Meeting, I came to more fully understand another, much more interesting and potentially vital facet of my discovery writing tendencies.

There I am in the chapel, waiting for Sacrament Meeting to start. I'm writing in my journal to be a good girl and keep up with my newly refreshed goals, and I'm circling an idea in the usual rambling way. And suddenly, I GET it. I understand, quite abruptly, what it is I've been writing toward. It's something that I've been wondering about for a while, and have prayed about once or twice, and it occurs to me, hey, I think I might have something here. And I think I feel the Spirit nudge me and say, Yeah, I think you do. Now let's try it again.

So, basically, I write to myself in my journal that, hey! If I'm really being open to it, and making even the slightest effort to do what I'm supposed to, the Holy Spirit can nudge my thoughts in the right direction even as I'm writing them down. I will find myself literally spelling out the answer to my question, right there on the paper.

Wow.

I mean, I was astonished.

And thoroughly excited. I've figured something out! I wanted to shout. I seriously wanted it to be Fast Sunday already, so I could share this amazing discovery. It's like . . . it's this tiny little thing that pertains pretty much just to me, but at the same time it's just too interesting to keep to myself. So you, my friendly little readers, get to hear about it first. :D

Now I know why I, personally, really need to keep a journal. And it may or may not have anything to do with anyone else. My posterity may not need to know the laundry list of things I do each day. That's not what it's about. It's personal. And it's one really interesting, really definite way for the Father to tell me that, yes, He's talking to me. Seriously. Right now. Talking. And if I'll just listen, even if I'm listening with my pen . . . then I just might learn something.

And despite the slightly crazy, casual tone of this post, what I'm trying to say is that I have a newfound testimony of the Spirit, and the truly unique ways He finds to talk to each of us on an individual basis, and in an individual way. And while I've always known this and never doubted it, today was the first time that I've truly been floored by it. Honest-to-goodness awe-struck. My Heavenly Father was talking to me, in a way that was truly suited to me and my crazy way of thinking and figuring things out.

I mean, Wow. How neat is that?